小学生日记 2011-4-30 晴 大风

圣严法师 《怎样修持解脱》

有无分别

        解脱和自由，二者有分别。自由，是社会意义上的；在社会共同体里一人自由不可妨碍他人自由，因而人人只可享有有限的自由。而解脱，是哲学意义上的，摆脱一切束缚，本质上是超越(Transcendence)。

       要求自由的倾向，可能是万物间没有分别的。“要求自由的倾向，实在就是主观状态对于客观状态的一种反抗，这种反抗的能力，几乎就是生命的本能”（放在哲学家的著作里并不显得突兀的话，实则出自圣严法师，呵呵，或可表明佛教义理中所包含的理性精神。）学者甘愿忍受青灯书斋的寂寞，少年人喜欢嘶吼黑暗的摇滚，宠物偶尔发狂，或是突然消失一两天，也许动机都是这种发自生命本能的反抗，在这一点上，万物彼此之间，或者没有分别。

      万物都以或大或小的方式反抗生存的客观束缚，有福缘又肯勤奋而得解脱的却万中无一。

叶嘉莹先生 《顾随诗词讲记》

自由的说诗人和不自由的世间人

       顾随先生是有儒家情怀的，二十岁考入北京大学英文系，改用顾随为名，取字羡季，化用了《论语—微子》篇中“周有八士”中“季随”的名字，是以古代贤人提醒自身道德期许。

      在叶先生的记忆中，他说诗类似禅宗“不立文字，见性成佛”，自谓“禅机说到无言处，空里游丝百尺长”，叶先生回忆道，顾先生“重在感发而不重在拘狭死板的解释说明，......凡是在书本中可以查考到的属于所谓记问之学的知识，先生一向都极少讲到，先生所讲授的乃是他自己以其博学、锐感、深思以及丰富的阅读和创作之经验所体会和掌握到的诗歌中真正的精华妙义之所在，......除此之外，......常把学文与学道以及作诗与做人相提并论”。叶先生说诗，或者义理精深与顾先生尚有差距，但说诗的自由风格和道德感并无二致。

      潘老师讲社会科学研究方法，从自由风格而言，隐约是同一路子。凡是在一般书本或者论文可以查到的技术层面的知识，只是概要提到，他所着重的是贯通人文和社会科学研究的逻辑基础。当然潘老师从不涉及道德讲述，可是逻辑推理的严谨细致，以及逻辑想象的丰富自由，也不局限于社会科学研究，而接近做人的道理了。

      可是无论顾随先生、叶嘉莹先生，都饱尝人生的种种不自由，种种艰辛，潘老师也并非一路坦荡。令人感叹。多年以后，当我尝遍人生的凄苦，是否也会有人这样感叹我的人生路途？

无所依傍的凄苦

      人生快到三十岁，头一次尝到这样的凄苦，流行歌词中的“心如刀割”、“心都碎了”，固然直露浅俗，原来是世间人坦白叫苦。

      也不是完全没有自省。朋友圈子不能太窄，失去了灵魂伴侣，还能有友情的支持，才能继续健康的生活。另外，彻底的痛苦，也是彻底的干净，空无一物了，不妨是新的种植和建设的开始。有灵魂伴侣，固然是人间幸事，失去了，也不妨是一大机缘。

      无所依傍，且看你如何行？

手录一段英文 圣奥古斯丁小传

       Aurelius Agustinus, better known as as Saint Augustine, was born of poor parents in the small town of Thagaste in Numidia, North Africa, A. D. 354.

       His father, Patricius, a pagan of somewhat loose life, was converted to Christianity before his death; his mother Monnica, on account of her personal piety and her influence on her son, is one of the most revered women in the history of the Christian Church.

       Augustine was educated at the University of Carthage, and according to his own account belonged to a fast set and joined in their dissipations.

       While there he entered into a relation which lasted for fourteen years with a young woman who became the mother of his son Adeodatus; and he joined the heretical sect of the Manicheans, who professed to have received from their founder, Manes, a higher form. of truth than that taught by Christ.

       At the close of his university career, which had been brilliant in spite of distractions, he returned to his native town, and first there, and later in Cathage and Rome, he practised as a teacher of rhetoric, training young lawyers in the art of pleading.

      By the time he was about twenty-seven he had begun to have doubts as to the validity of Manichaism, but it was not until 387, while he was Professor of Rhetoric in the University of Milan, that he was converted to Catholic Christianity, and received baptism.

      He now gave up his profession and became an ascetic, studying the foundations of the faith, writing, chiefly against his former sect, and conversing with a group of disciples, first at Rome and then in his native town.

      When he was on a visit to Hippo, not far from Thagaste, he was forced into the priesthood, and in 395 he became Bishop of Hippo, an office which he filled for the remaining thirty-five years of his life.

      Though he took a leading part in the activities of the African Church through all this time, and gradually became one of the most distinguished ecclesiastical figures in the Empire, the care of his diocese and the writing of his books formed his chief occupations.

       He continued to lead a life of extreme simplicity and self-denial, and in his episcopal establishment he trained a large number of disciples who became leaders in the Church.

       The strength of his hold on these younger men was due not merely to his intellectual ascendency, but also to the charm and sweetness of his disposition.  

平庸

       我是个极为平庸的人，在许多方面（语言、艺术）有小聪明和些微的灵气，但是本质上是极为平庸的。

       一直以来都不能直面本我、执道而行；无论哪一方面，都难臻精深；做事做人，既惜力气，又畏畏缩缩，小人常戚戚，就是在说我。

      人生短促，天地无穷，极少数高贵的灵魂，也不免归于寂灭，终归是长或短、深或浅的一道痕迹。我要留下怎样的痕迹？