by J. Loh
a dead cat bounced once or twice
a dead man walked as a soldier from Qin dynasty
who dreamed about climbing the Great Wall
across the vast northern wasteland
and only found himself turned
into a ghost in the bushes
like a shapeless shadow of wind
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such vivid affairs one could not tell
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in the midnight silence
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and I knew nothing about the basement
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where rats and cockroaches fought among themselves
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I was alive, but couldn't walk nor bounce around
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as a black swan or a white cat
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while you said, come join the soldiers of the cockroaches.
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Why not rats, I asked.
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one inch seemed one million miles away
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with two worlds apart
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there was something inside me I couldn't reach
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"tear me into pieces", you said,
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"nothing is authentic or genuine as you will see
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in pieces of me"
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I was alive, but couldn't walk as a living being
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the world surrounding me
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was a tiny drop of the rain, dripping down
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from a pigeon's wing-tip
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time turned into a grain of sand --
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-- the sole truth of the universe
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with sore and pain in my back
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I couldn't go too far from my flesh nor bring the true pieces of me
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to the silent tides
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I couldn't touch the shades of solidity
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while my door was cracking --
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the boundary of myself was disappearing
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something completely foreign was reshaping
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I felt the dim light of the rainy day came inside me
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and shed on the cracked floor
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when curtains were still tightly shut
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Gapping, sobbing, and yelling in pain
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I felt the dead man moving out of my body
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and the grain of sand was free-flying
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in the pouring rain
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love or being loved was a state of quantum
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-- rats or cockroaches didn't matter --
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when a terra cotta soldier was walking
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in the mighty wind.
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Sept. 6, 2015 written in BJ
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附中文翻译:今天NWXK+`1|'T8a
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《兵马俑》D&R8Sd|#T`8p:l2v0J${Qq&j4s0
作者、翻译:莫笑愚&|vG3n$i9w*u(J`0
Y"Ti7`2Q9aW0今天 _,[ xL4qs0i~)i#s
一只死猫回光返照了一次或两次P^RVF0
一个死去的人行走,仿佛来自秦朝的兵士f]+Bf.J
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他梦见自己跨越北方广袤的荒原今天0Kns}\l0ga
攀上了长城}:S
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结果却发现自己变成鬼魂今天4Iy(t5chX
仿佛草丛中无形的风影今天'Dm~wLH今天mA(PmH:G}
人们在午夜的寂静中j#Ix:`(RdY
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分不清这些生动的事物今天;eO@P8] A7_3b
而我对地下室里发生的一切也一无所知今天!s6h+}`4O)J$B
老鼠和蟑螂在那里战斗今天+L,S2kGNE7g
我活着,却不能像黑天鹅或白猫那样今天9i~w,n
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行走或弹跳.Bf#E"Ex-f{V)L7w{E0
而你说,来吧,加入蟑螂的战斗群。今天G5B+\ a
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为什么不是老鼠,我说。7Q%Ffc6W7Vm0
一英寸似乎相隔百万英里今天.bi7j7MUN-r*G
两个世界天差地别今天zu]
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一些东西在我心中,我无法触及'WAM|_
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“将我撕成碎片吧”,你对我说,#?yCPF3I'|0
“在碎裂的我中,没有什么是纯正的'E
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或真实的”)z6m@{$k
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我活着,无法如众生行走z
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我周围的世界i*l"V-\d7e%p],Naz0
是一小滴雨水,从鸽子的翅尖今天,AV1pbQjZ
滴落,fO snbaiB0
时间成为一粒沙 ——今天z0k(K @;X2c,D
—— 这宇宙的唯一真理今天tq|X-O6I#X4|今天7e)A*~@$d7W^P
我腰酸背痛今天HK;m|w(O
无法离开自身的肉体走得太远,也不能将真实的我的碎片T:O,t\N0
带进静默的潮汐 ——今天7@?#X#nZ!E~Oy
我无法触碰这坚固的阴影$H9R%~z]q(~0
而我的门在开裂/Kd Pu@ Z!E3R(j}m0
我自身的边界在消失7sAmi:^ sSX0qRK-z0
一些完全陌生的事物在重塑F.`I2g? ^J5e:N.Q6V]0
我感到昏暗的灯光在雨天进入我的内心今天9_r:c&M
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当窗帘依然紧闭今天'i_"s#I4R*hK f:cb&s'}8I0c$V5h0
撕裂着,哭泣着,带着疼痛呼号着今天]9MmN@bK2M s+n"x
我感到这死去的人正在移出我的体内:`
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而细小的沙粒在瓢泼大雨中^8|-|o'j-K6E0
自由飞行——今天PjL3t"I
爱或被爱都是量子状态今天F7I+d
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—— 老鼠或蟑螂都不重要 ——今天g3C.{3d8VP
当兵马俑的士兵5N?P Fy,e7u0
行走,在迅疾的风中。今天dn+`G;v2yRqRN/eJo v0
2015-9-6于北京