by J. Loh
a dead cat bounced once or twice
a dead man walked as a soldier from Qin dynasty
who dreamed about climbing the Great Wall
across the vast northern wasteland
and only found himself turned
into a ghost in the bushes
like a shapeless shadow of wind
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such vivid affairs one could not tell
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in the midnight silence
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and I knew nothing about the basement
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where rats and cockroaches fought among themselves
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I was alive, but couldn't walk nor bounce around
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as a black swan or a white cat
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while you said, come join the soldiers of the cockroaches.
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Why not rats, I asked.
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one inch seemed one million miles away
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with two worlds apart
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there was something inside me I couldn't reach
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"tear me into pieces", you said,
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"nothing is authentic or genuine as you will see
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in pieces of me"
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I was alive, but couldn't walk as a living being
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the world surrounding me
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was a tiny drop of the rain, dripping down
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from a pigeon's wing-tip
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time turned into a grain of sand --
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-- the sole truth of the universe
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with sore and pain in my back
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I couldn't go too far from my flesh nor bring the true pieces of me
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to the silent tides
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I couldn't touch the shades of solidity
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while my door was cracking --
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the boundary of myself was disappearing
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something completely foreign was reshaping
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I felt the dim light of the rainy day came inside me
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and shed on the cracked floor
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when curtains were still tightly shut
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Gapping, sobbing, and yelling in pain
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I felt the dead man moving out of my body
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and the grain of sand was free-flying
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in the pouring rain
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love or being loved was a state of quantum
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-- rats or cockroaches didn't matter --
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when a terra cotta soldier was walking
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in the mighty wind.
今天!\n-v8F![[|&X]
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Sept. 6, 2015 written in BJ
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附中文翻译:
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今天5~&DLgc-c
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《兵马俑》今天m7YNW&wFI#n:rNp~ fmKPw5s8UI l1\f0
作者、翻译:莫笑愚今天T-v-qRs2S
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一只死猫回光返照了一次或两次今天+G~9v{)HlBB[%F-G
一个死去的人行走,仿佛来自秦朝的兵士今天
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他梦见自己跨越北方广袤的荒原今天CBFK({/hd4Xv
攀上了长城今天+wht/OOgt%K
结果却发现自己变成鬼魂今天)`-AUIdL,l?
仿佛草丛中无形的风影9uu(X+TAzCA"x0今天~.q,U@&{
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人们在午夜的寂静中cI r'w5tr8\)aoU0
分不清这些生动的事物今天0Sh,NN0Di+GP6X.~
而我对地下室里发生的一切也一无所知:pE[9S5D"nkd%u0
老鼠和蟑螂在那里战斗V.VWQo7L$h0
我活着,却不能像黑天鹅或白猫那样今天*u%{7K"{#yC5l*y
行走或弹跳*h
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而你说,来吧,加入蟑螂的战斗群。]+g_6z/k6|$B/X0N_0今天
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为什么不是老鼠,我说。今天t@L?elc bS|
一英寸似乎相隔百万英里今天3L @TSG\|:e,K
两个世界天差地别fD)l]:?w1C9@0
一些东西在我心中,我无法触及%T0b
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“将我撕成碎片吧”,你对我说,今天Z.ndC;L(u sVv7g
“在碎裂的我中,没有什么是纯正的7|N(toS
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或真实的”S!F1?
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我活着,无法如众生行走今天 cs|
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我周围的世界W@IjJp r0
是一小滴雨水,从鸽子的翅尖+r8Mm4c7Ty-FM0
滴落今天2]o'z`Vc1{
时间成为一粒沙 ——今天.t7qcQw
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—— 这宇宙的唯一真理6R"b^Q*qO#z0,k?h+p@"JN0
我腰酸背痛今天9|z4QuC
无法离开自身的肉体走得太远,也不能将真实的我的碎片今天6}(\f9bfE+b
带进静默的潮汐 ——今天 ['A
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我无法触碰这坚固的阴影今天:Nb#C7n2R
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而我的门在开裂0m(SD1Gh#x+w0
我自身的边界在消失6Sa^W
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一些完全陌生的事物在重塑今天 o5E3DXSy
我感到昏暗的灯光在雨天进入我的内心今天y4`!Q;[6Gem,RE
洒在破裂的地板上今天/N
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当窗帘依然紧闭今天 u/I5N8ZO5e2n今天2Vg3o!WR"Z#f&Qs
撕裂着,哭泣着,带着疼痛呼号着!}`P2]7] nI8}0
我感到这死去的人正在移出我的体内今天b6OC@T
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而细小的沙粒在瓢泼大雨中今天[;jXZ%Q
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自由飞行——今天cM\-M-@5IT
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爱或被爱都是量子状态bUl6{5k-@*U0
—— 老鼠或蟑螂都不重要 —— ~[,b+T;c,T0
当兵马俑的士兵今天2F
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行走,在迅疾的风中。今天
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2015-9-6于北京